Subject: Coming to terms with losing looks. If you go swimming you have the added bonus of less drag! Shutterstock/ Photographee.eu If you and your partner are committing to a healthier lifestyle — and don't make weight loss a competition — making healthy changes and losing weight together could benefit your relationship. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. If you find a thread that says there are more comments than you can see in the thread, the "missing" comments were probably removed - by the moderators of that subreddit, by the Reddit spam filter, or by the subreddit's local AutoModerator. There's a manly aspect to it, even. Take a look at his face, so I have no clue if his cut is real or not, I have seen photos of him before this and he looks normal and lot of guys do this artificial scaring over the eye-brow. I'm 25, and I've recently discovered (rather unexpectedly) that I have male pattern baldness, and that I'm losing my hair at quite an alarming rate. I never hooked up throughout college mainly because I put sex on a huge imaginary pedestal. I am getting older and my friends are losing their hair... the ones I found attractive with it are still just as attractive without. Four writers reveal when it hit them. I'm a sexagenarian, and I have some bad news for you. That really hadn't happened to me before. It surely isn't the picture we have of our mothers or grandmothers. How have you coped with losing your looks (if you feel you have lost your looks)? Coming to that conclusion allowed me to relax more. I also learned to read signals of interest....this was huge for me. Anonymous: Anonymous wrote:I am 37 and felt that I looked my absolute best at 33-34. Losing your virginity. The first was that I was just an intensely private and introverted person. Not that I know what to say". Girls were always part of a group, or I was in class with them, or we were at a party. Reply to "Coming to terms with losing looks" Subject: Message body. Now I date a lot more and have fun at it. Try being a straight-up ugger your whole life. This also applies to moving within a country as well. I'm talking about older guys who went from being terrible with women to having a regular, happy and healthy dating life. The Art of Losing Your Looks. Also, the girls who were geeky in high school suddenly mature and start sleeping around. I started from a place of intense social awkwardness and chronic anxiety and now things are completely different. I was always very young looking and had no confidence with women. Ok. You've stated yourself that you are vain and tied up with your physical appearance so here is my suggestion. These amazing weight loss transformations from around the world shared by Bored Panda show how weight loss can make people unrecognisable because of the impact on their faces. Denial and self-medication. If it seems like your pals can't schedule time for you, maybe you require more attention than they are able to give. To come to terms with feeling ugly, start by confronting beauty standards that may be warping the way you see yourself. When I see my photos, I think I look "ugly." Experience helps a lot! I couldn't speak to people in large groups and I didn't want people knowing I was going on a date. I lost my virginity quite late but I'd say I've made up for lost time. Sometimes it is JUST because the girls where they move to have a fetish for their race. If you dress nicely, groom well and find it easy to have lighthearted conversations with strangers on the spot, that's about 80% of the necessary skill set. Now I'm still with my first girlfriend 8 years later and it bugs me a little when people think of us a a "perfect couple" of sorts. I'm guessing he met her when he least expected it? Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of lifes biggest challenges. I just didn't know better. So i'm not a late bloomer per se. I never understood that thing people always say. No one would know. iii) Grow a comb over. i) Wear a wig. This sort of dramatic change in cultures can be the catalyst for people to make that change. Medical advances don't sit still, especially on that holy grail. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. I'm 25, and I've recently discovered (rather unexpectedly) that I have male pattern baldness, and that I'm losing my hair at quite an alarming rate. Maybe they are somewhere in the world that’s just so far away that they can’t find their way back to you. Part of this is just down to being a bit older but dropping that baggage I had back home has freed me up. I'm kind of a late bloomer. I don't know how I'll make it work, but I know that I have to date abroad and/or tourists that come by. Once you know the changes that are happening in your body as you age and how to cope with them, then you will be better prepared to deal with them, in terms of physical and mental health changes. Now I have dealt with that and surround myself with only people I like. Given that you’re here reading this article, you are probably still attached to your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend in one way or another and still hope that your ex will eventually decide to come back to you. There is pretty much nothing else anyone can tell you or that you can do. Vanity isn't exactly an attractive personality trait. I wasn't really aware of that consciously at the time but once I started living on my own and nobody was paying attention to what I was doing I felt a lot more comfortable with the idea of going on a date. Losing a friend can hurt a lot. I just hope to not fall in the trap of "I've spent money coming out here, going on these dates and nothings happened these two months! Hardly dated at all in high school and college because awkward nice guy. I realise to some that that this would seem quite a trivial issue. I'll have to go to the bars and clubs that I don't really like, to at least meet them. And I can see that being true if you live in a population center. Reply to "Coming to terms with losing looks" Subject: Message body. It sucks, but I have to work out 5 days a week, every week, no excuses, but it's helped me stay a size 4-6. If for some reason I was walking alone with a girl to class it was only ever for 5 minutes. How to deal with loss. He would go on dates but never get anywhere. As for how i deal with it i just shave it all off. So will your ass. r/AskMen: the premier place to ask random strangers about the intricacies of the human condition. I had a couple of very rough years, and aged ten years in one year. I made the change when a girl on an online forum took a liking to me. I knew I guy who started going bald at 16. Make girls laugh, get a date, go from there. Imagine you have leprosy....Trust me; baldness a much better curse. I was wondering if any of the older redditors, or people who have lost their looks for other reasons, had any advice or experiences they could share to help. That's half the battle. I think keeping it short is really key. Accepting your mortality. I look pretty good shaved so it works out well. And if you were unable to afford expensive veterinary treatment to prolong your pet’s life, you may even feel a profound sense of guilt. My parents are obviously in the dark. Death is an unavoidable part of the cycle of life, yet many of us do everything we can to avoid accepting our mortality. He's no loss. Ive lived abroad for about 7 years and have improved my dating life ten-fold. Coming to that conclusion allowed me to relax more. I am not sure what to do about this, because I am not going to be getting more attractive with age. But between 19 and 25 my dating life was basically dead. After all, what does 50 really look like today? I really do. But coming to terms with the inevitability of death can help teach us to live more fully in the here and now. The important thing is to try and improve yourself, and learn from mistakes. Grow older gracefully and be proud of any lines and wrinkles...after all, they do tell a story. Perhaps the obvious transition is people who went from geeks in high school to being very popular with women at university. Coming to terms with loss May 10, 2013. At least you were good looking for a while. But that kicked me out of the funk. Take baby steps: start with just keeping it short and eventually just shave it all off. I do not define myself by my looks but no woman wants to lose them, It is sad to hear you are jealous of your daighter try not to be you had your time and unfortunately it passes try to focus on everything you love about yourself and what you have to offer. I have faith in your capacity and ability to change, to become happy, to help yourselves. Several years later and I've had more than my fair share of dates, hookups, short relationships, and one long term relationship that I'm currently in. If it's just starting, it might not be too late to give Rogain a try (if you have the right kind of pattern baldness). Throughout my twenties I was considered quite a dish. Why don't you want to bulk up too much? I finally got out and lost my virginity when I was 18. Having sexual intercourse for the first time. Never knew what I was doing. What to do: There are plenty of reasons for clinginess, but one way to combat this is to meet new people. Got my shit together after college. Same thing goes for myself, I don't like the buff and body builder look on myself as a man. Tight petite body, long luscious hair, dark features. Not only are your looks changing beyond your control, it’s also one of the first real reminders that we aren’t immune to the passing of time. EDIT- I know you said you didn't want to go down that route, but really it's this, or just deal with it. I am still young looking and haven't changed that much physically but I think I dress better, have a better haircut, and most importantly, I've come to the conclusion that most women are just as awkward and insecure as I am. Pull up a chair and get yourself a drink from the punchbowl. I first noticed that I was balding at age 21. Don’t worry, we won’t tell anyone your username. That, paired with a bit of reluctance to approach, has been disastrous. In my mind I'm still an awkward skinny single 18yo who definitely isn't balding. Everyone's idea of beauty is a bit a different, especially if you don't buy into the media sale of of what is fashionable and what is attractive. The Red Carpet Look Workout: Star Fit New Look Diet. Press J to jump to the feed. By Hara Estroff Marano, published September 7, 2007 - last reviewed on June 9, 2016 You may not like it now, you may realize you are thankful 10 years from now. This all happened after I got my self esteem in check. Mostly after I graduate. A steady stream of potential friends coming in your life will help you give the proper attention to each of your relationships. Starting from age 18 until a few years ago I was lucky enough to be good looking. Women are likely to lose some of their beauty and looks when their hormones decline, exercise is lacking, and nutrients are poorly absorbed. Truth be told, I'm quite vain, and lot of my self image and the way I project myself is tied up in my physical appearance. From our perspective, 50, 60 and older can look great if you take off your mask and let your face grow into becoming who you are. If you lived alone and the pet was your only companion, coming to terms with their loss can be even harder. So lots of guys in high school stepped up when they went to university, and I guess that is down to a dramatic change in circumstances. I was able to open up and just have a human connection with girls as well as a sexual one. I'm now 27 and still have enough hair that you can't really tell I'm balding unless you look closely. And some of them were pretty hot girls and they didn't find me boring or think I was weird like I thought they would. Because after all, you're the person in the best position to. Get a buzzcut and deal; that's what I did. Nobody was going to tease me about it or ask prying questions. r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions. Just don't be an asshole about it. I do give a shit. In this article, we look in depth at the changes that occur and how older adults can cope with them. But I guess my real area of expertise here is living abroad. These are normal reactions to significant loss. In the vanity terms you talk about, if somebody is focused on your hair and not you..well they where never intrested in you to start with. After that I went through about a year of not giving a shit because that last relationship was so mentally abusive. Use anti wrinkle cream. Wallowing in self pity isnt going to help. It’s been spiked. i'm losing my looks and i can't deal with it (211 Posts) Add message | Report. The remaining 20% varies from person to person and basically entails using what you've got - whether it's your looks or your sense of humor or your ability to connect with other people and make them feel pleased to be talking to you. Losing interest in a partner can be just as difficult a loss as realizing that your partner isn't involved in the relationship anymore. Log in to your Reddit account. I've used it since age 21. Hair (in many cases) takes a really long time to fall out. So now after years of depression I'm single, have absolutely no interest in sex or dating, and generally hate every day I'm alive. Started working out, figured out that jeans and an oversized ratty old t-shirt isn't 'fashion', and started actively trying to find women (Tinder mostly). From 0 to 21yo without having any kind of relationship. I'm not sure what else I can say to you but this. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I had two girlfriends from 15-19 and one of them was almost for 4 years. A hint of makeup and a tight dress later I was ready to turn heads and rule any social scene. Tell yourself it's not a big deal, it's just hair, find ways to make yourself look better, talk to friends about it, go out and have a good time. Unfortunately, I'm rather ill equipped to deal with this news. I'm incredibly stubborn when it comes to "my type" of woman. 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