All women need to confront the men that play this game to let them know that we will not accept this behavior as part of our dating culture. He changed his phone number and ghosted me in mid conversation about coming to my birthday. I choose to keep my dignity and not reach out but it is so hard not knowing why he stopped contacting me. It has been a struggle everyday to not think about it and wonder why or how he could do such a horrible thing without saying anything. I was excited because it had been a while since I acutally liked someone one a little bit. When you want to text him what your needs are, it can sound something like this: Hey, I hope youre doing okay since I havent heard back from you. I told him I would respect his need for space, and that I hoped we were not too broken to find our way back to each other. I have many other things in my life, career, study, friends, but the love and friendship from my friend was what made me happiest. Not read and ignored. Thus we cut off and run rather than face the reality of hurting you in a face to face situation. Reading all of these heartfelt stories has really made me think! Please comment I need ADVISE here!!! He had sex with her and had great dates several times, but then she showed her craving to be in a relationship which he didnt want at all. Cause I tried! but what can I say. I have started dating again and these are the exact things I have been dealing with. I should note he said he could see this going somewhere and wed made clear after week 1 we were exclusively seeing eachother. I really hope you will be strong and then if he still doesnt answer your text or clarify his stands, please, just move on and never text him again. Maybe he blocks me, but for what?! My guy had a lot of issues going on, but I dont think that excuses him at all. Recently lost my car due to an accident and he was even letting me borrow his and was my main source of transportation. No way to tell what happened other than he simply sucks. Dont waste another thought on him and his ex girlfriend. Im committed to moving on but think about him everyday. I figured if they werent interested theyd back off. I was talking to this guy on a dating we tried for a few meet ups but things kept happening and we were both busy we talked for four months!! I dont know what to do. Since he works at the store I get my groceries from I used a different picture.. Responding When an Ex Reaches Out. You are the better person. Ive never had a guy disappear without a trace forever. On Monday yesterday he emailed me I didnt respond he call me at work I didnt respond, called a second time I picked up. He replies that he cant and hes sorry. The first date turned into a weekend. But my resentment and hurt is now greater than the sex ever was. 3. Interesting choice of words. If you do, you deserve your entire investment. And I bet youve had so many unnecessary problems with your significant other where you wanted all of his attention to be on you 24/7 and it caused arguments and disagreements. At the start of the dating men can go into the 'wooing' phase fast. Heck, lie to me- tell me its you and not meanything is better than nothing. (I was close for 15 years, thought I was with my sole mate. when he did call, asked him what was going on? And now he has just disappeared in thin air. I thought men outgrew this but even pushing 50, some are still at it. Hi BLAW, You can make it a joke, but keep your texts very short and keep bugging him about the DVDs, dont bring up anything else. Life is really short. We just chatted and then swapped numbers. When you text him, tell him how funny, smart, and sexy you think he is. But he doesnt want to let you go as that would mean that hell lose you forever. then I stop intiating contact, I stop asking him out, for sure I stop dating him. The reason Im sharing this with you guys is that I think its important not to lash out at someone in these circumstances. And yes, it would have been more courteous for him to just say, Hey, I had just broken up with my girlfriend when you and I met and we decided to give it another go. But that COULD be an awkward, dramatic conversation. Im questioning how accurate the last portion of this is, If youve been ghosted more than once, the reason is YOU sweetheart. I told I was inlove and begged him to forgive me for anywrons I did.. he gave me a date when we could Meet but the day came and he was still gone But now I know its pointless trying to get intorch with him. Since, I have went back on FB/LinkedIn and posted a pic of myself and it was almost liberating. Listen to your friends and move on. Show him the door to your life and let him go. Did he offer to meet. Please help me please. 1. In my heart, I am thinking that just maybe he didnt get this email, and that he blocked me for ignoring him. I have this male friend, that weve been talking on and off for the last 10 years. You want to be with a guy who cant believe his luck that a girl like you would choose him! Im tired of making excuses that they were too busy to say hi, or reply. 3 turned intimate. I also told him that I needed to leave a bit early as I had a family evento attend to the next day He was very disappointed but soon got over it . When I found out I felt cheated, used, sad. I knew he really wanted to see me. Although it sucks, I realize that I dont deserve this and hes just not the guy for me. This pain is so deep and Im mad that I shared so much of myself with him. The final conclusion is we would hold hands walking into the party so everyone knows I am with him, aka I am taken. And the only date Ive had since went down like a lead ballon (okay it wasnt that bad.but it didnt feel as enjoyable). In the time we had been talking we let an entire weekend go by before meeting up and he was talking to me literally all weekend long . Then the third week he asked me to come to his place and I would stay the night (he lived about 35 min away) because we would have wine and get to know each other. Im not playing games Now hes totally avoiding me, getting someone else to help me at the counter. Get back on Tinder and keep dating til you find someone. too bad for me, I like him a lot. Here is what many women do not understand about some of us men. Take a hard look at your life and try to better yourself. Show him youre living a full life, and youve got other options! I dont come from a dating culture. The fairytales that daddy read to you before tucking you in at night were fantasies. We had a lovely farewell, I had lots of calls from him at the airport and then one or two when he arrived with them there is a time difference. Like he did too and I could see myself with him. Peace - When He Disappears Let Him Go. I dont know why he did this to me. Ive enjoyed being with you and Id like to see you again, but I havent been getting the same vibe since I last saw you. The thing you have to realize is that if this kind of behavior is the way this guy handles a situation like that, then you have been spared a pretty bad situation. Its a mutual emotional sickness. This time Val but still he ignored me. I met a guy on line he asked for my number and frim there we talked and texted regularly for 5/6 months. Immerse yourself in work, spend time with friends, check out a cool new bar or museum, try out a new exercise class. I was over him. He had flaws but I love him for those imperfections. Good riddance Mr Copperfield! After I came back to Europe he kept telling me how he loved me and also about some future plans, kids I also told him I love him and i meant it.. he suggested i should visit him so we will not stay long apart and that he will pay me half of the ticket which was about 1000 dollars as well. My question is knowing the background what should I do? He also mentioned that on Thanksgiving they were running a Turkey Trot together, so Wednesday night I just sent him a text wishing them both luck. I know its been a week and Ill be okay in time but I actually really really felt something and it makes me on to bigger and better! I felt like I needed to hear an explanation from him but at the same time I tell myself that if he wants to talk to me, he would. What do I do? When I let him go hes ghosts for 3 weeks 1 month hes all guy but then he brakes the ice and wants to be back with me like we were. I dont think we are talking apart a certain age group that does this, Ive been ghosted by 25 year old to 55 year both claiming to love me. Not all of them, but most of them are spineless douchebags. Never much input from him. What is his deal and is there anyway to fix it?? I will never understand why people do this. Why cant he just be a man and break up with me to my face?? flirting with a guy Ive never met, really? I texted him good luck at the job the night before he started he says thanks :), then I didnt reply till a few days later to see how he was doing we texted back and forth a bit then he stopped, he then texts me two days later to see how I was doing I told him I been going through some stress and all he says was you need anything I am always here for you to talk, this was the first time since we been dating that not once he initiated to see me at all that weekend or anything just texting back and forth and him replying every few hours, I texted him the day after to ask about his weekend then texts me over a day later to say it was good how about you I replied same good weekend also then after that poof never texts me again barely see him on Facebook anymore literally pulled a ghost on me I never been so confused about something like this in my life and I just have this emptiness inside and I cant stop myself from crying, why couldnt he just tell me from the last time I saw him he doesnt want to see me anymore, why text me first then slowly drift away, why drop me when I accepted all his flaws and try to comfort him Everytime he had an episode, why let me meet your family and friends when I wasnt anything serious to you, all these questions stuck in my head like glue and no answers, I know that it takes time to move on but really how can a person just be heartless and cruel like that, its been two weeks, and I hadnt hit him up after he bailed on me cause of family troubles and he hasnt hit me up either. Especially when you believed in everything he said, I felt really stupid. If I did that, he would never leave me. I wrote him Hi on whatsapp but he never replied. If he didnt reply and ended contact with no explanation, then I would not date him again! We even talked for the first time about those times we hooked at parties. The next day he texts me Im sorry for everything. Idk what to do now though. Jools, thank you. (I know what youre about) I figured he probably does this all the time and I just fell for the scam. This guy, being from the same The second, third, and fourth dates all went well also. Typical short dicked man mentality. I am so hurt and confused. Now Im seeing someone else. One month ago, I thought I was in a relationship with a man I would someday call my husband. Do you rant to him about his immature behavior or do you simply give him some more time and wait for him to come back to you? @ Cathy If he doesnt hear from you adequately and decisively he will continue to walk away. The day you have a daughter and this happens to her. i just thought it would be great experience to go out of my country and visit him. He never once even insinuated he wanted m to permanently leave him alone. But I dont believe that all good looking girls end up with ugly guys as I have seen very good looking and successful guys with not very attractive women and I have also seen good looking pairs together. It took me a long time to recover since I got attached to him emotionally by talking with him a lot. Our experiences do color how we view things. We hit it off and I live on Maui another island than him. Every week went to nice dinners, great conversation, etc. It is rude and classless. that sounds like something that recently happened to me and I am at lost for words. Continued to text but avoid weekends until of course valentine rolled around. If he values his self respect hes not going to wait around for you and worry about what will be, if he wants to remain an attractive prospect to you he will disappear with complete absence of drama until you show you care enough. I asked him his schedule for the week and when we could get together (knowing I had the intention of asking him in person what was going on)and he just ignored the question and talked about his work. He replied, how do you know??? After 4 days straight of messaging about how our days were going, it got flirtier so that by days 5 and 6 there was straight out sexting at my initiation, not his. 1. i feel so sorry about your story, the same situation about to happen with me but Im lucky that he broke communication first. Sorry I havent texted much Ive been tied up with family. Texts again started to get less and less. Comfortable asking him. no plans, no more i love you. Regardless of living in the same town we never hung out together because I was always too shy to meet him. 2. Plus we startedd talking about taking things slow because we wanted this to eventally turn into a relationship. Gracie, Especially when its someone you felt really good about :/ its confusing and well never know why it happened. He said he wanted me and that he was sorry that he didnt feel well and for getting me all bothered. he said he dont want to in any commitment as hes too busy with his business.. Hard times dont build character, they reveal it. Im not bad looking. Is it really over? I am a positive person and I truly do not want to be a cynical person when it comes to love. All I could think was WTF! I name a time when Ill be freed up from work. Because of this I had to struggle to find a friend to do a name change with and take his place. He says he loves me. I said if you dont want to say it back thats fine, I guess you dont love me or you would say it. Ignoring someone youve been dating for months is one of them. When he reached out again to me I told him that I did not think we should go out again because I didnt feel we were a match/were compatible. Terms Of Use, Life Coaching Programs and Coaching Certification by LifeSOULutions That Work, LLC . Was he not interested and I misread? Just be yourself. An immature man will find it difficult to take responsibility for his actions, thus, deciding to just abandon them and leave things on air. Martha Im going through a similar thing too right now. Good bye Mr. Wrong. Even when we were mad at each other in the past, he never left me in a bad situation. The problem is when we meet a guy and we start to like him we fantasize about him too much. I used to blame it on the alcohol and all his stress in his life and make excuses for him. We exchanged message for a while until i almost mentioned our plan that HE MADE for the weekend. That made no difference in the outcomehe has done the vanishing and ignoring thing to you all along. I tried to contact him a few times, no response. Boy, do I wish I had not done so. What you are experiencing is totally what happen to me now. I asked him plainly if he simply wasnt interested anymore or if he had someone else. My friend knows that there will be no drama with me, because I wont humiliate myself, so there was no reason for it. Just what I needed to read right now. our texts usually turned into sexting which Ive never done before. But I just dont understand the no contact thing. jeez what is wrong with these guys!! I went numb when he said yes. Him: Naah..How can I with you on my mind? Answer (1 of 22): Don't he's an idiot! Has nothing to do with the woman or the relationship. A week later he told me he wanted to try to work things out with his ex girlfriend. Is he curious about you? So, if he ghosts again, hes out. This went on for about a year of seeing him at my place of business at least 2 to 3 times a week. Bye. How do you put your mind at rest? I believed him. Dont give up, Girl..Love is Out There waiting for you!!!! I dated this guy a few times and I thought we had hit it off then he just disappears. Yucky. Or can I say, boys. Men have to date down for sex but only marry in their league There are SO many other men out there that would love to be with you. I havent seen him or spoke to him in a month now but it help me put closure to the whole thing. The truth, as I would have told it, would have caused her extreme emotional distress. She is not a bad person but sadly she is not normal due to her borderline personality disorder. Why would a man waste his time explaining to someone like her the reasons for his departure? He even woke up and made me coffee in the morning before waking me. What did I do wrong? That he felt like while in his super Lgon term relationship he had regretted not doing things an if he got iyo one with me, th same would happen. but at the end of the day I know I will never get the answers, and view it all as a learning experience to make my next relationship better! I know thats easier said than done, but please try even if just for me, some stranger on the internet. One who cares enough to freakin respond!good luck. I sent back a response to say hope you feel better and that water was what the doctor ordered. When youre feeling down, just remember the Stones song, You cant always get what you want, but if you try sometimes youll find you get what you need. And I love all my sisters out there and their advice, but they will always think I deserve better and so do the guys. Clearly I get the hint lol. Even accused him of having someone else, but he tried to explain that hes just busy about his work. They hang out together every now and then but its strictly friends, platonic, not a date, but with sleep overs separate rooms. So I leave kind of disappointed I even came if he was so out of it. What is your strategy? I just cant understand how someone can go from being sooo close and attached to you to just no contact and so dry. Start your own life and make a new plan without him. Again I was like blown away by the attitude he had. In our first conversation after two months. It was not planned at all as u was in birth control and didnt want any more kids(I have 3 of my own)We will be tied because of this baby so how do you deal with that?? I often use the term disposable relationship to describe how the dating scene is now. If someone disappears, theyre not into you. Do, you deserve your entire investment dinners, great conversation,.... 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